If you are struggling right now and suddenly feel like the world you have always existed in is a place that you no longer align with, then this post is specifically for you. Along with these wonderful slides that The Holistic Psychologist prepared, I will share with you in depth information about what a dark night of the soul will be like.
The truth is, we have been running on auto-pilot for most of our life and the way we always moved has been part of our conditioning.. our parents and families, our school systems, our peers and friends, our media and societal paradigms. And hey, that felt like it worked for you before, right? You were okay! .. but were you actually?
We will have many dark nights of the soul in our lifetime, just as the seasons always change and we go into Autumn where the break down commences to make way for the new... but there will inevitably be that one moment in your life that sticks out and will be your first big dark night of the soul that thrusts you straight into your spiritual awakening.
You will begin to question your path as you will begin to find that it doesn't fit anymore. There will be things that fall apart and things that fall away. And along with the confusion and distress we begin to feel, there also comes much grief as we mourn the loss of the life we had and can no longer exist within.
Finding the right support during this time is important. We begin to feel called to go inward. Doing the healing work is inevitable when we go through a dark night of the soul. We are given an opportunity to explore and remove the previous lens we were viewing things from, that came from our conditioning and/or wounding/traumas.
When I went through my first big dark night of the soul, I remember how painful it felt but also, how alone I felt. I began seeking avenues that would help me along my journey. I learned about my patterns of codependency and people pleasing. I learned about my traumas and how they kept me stuck in cycles that were not only not serving me, but also greatly harming me by making me stay in abusive dynamics with partners and work. And so began my healing journey.
I read books; I went to Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) meetings for a year; I began to see a therapist; I went to a Reiki energy healer; I started attending mindfulness groups for weekly meditations; I began to pray more; I danced; And I cried and cried so much as I released all these parts within of me that have not seen the light of day since they had first come to me as a child.
What was hard for me during this time was that I didn't understand what was happening at first and even when I did, learning how to navigate that within the current structures that I existed within, made it even harder. It wasn't built to sustain my growth or expansion. It was not equipped to handle the changes and rapid awareness that comes to you during this time. It was built to support the life I lived before.. and this contrast you are feeling.. of everything no longer fitting or working out for you, is your dark night of the soul.
This is why finding mentors, guides and healers during your journey is really important. Don't get me wrong, healing is 100% an inside job that has to be done by ourselves, but I cannot stress how beneficial it is to have guidance and mentorship, and to receive healing by various modalities is for our healing journey.
It's been over 8 years since I first had my big dark night of the soul that propelled me into my spiritual awakening. Since then, I have done so much deep healing and have shifted out of my old life and patterns and created a new path for myself. I stepped into my role as a healer so that I can help to guide others on their journey. I realized that my Empathy, Compassion, Intuition and Authenticity were powerful gifts that allowed me to be able to offer space, solace, healing and love to many people who were embarking on this new journey. So, now it is my mission to not only keep expanding for myself, but to assist others in their journey.
So, here is some wisdom I can pass on to you if you're experiencing this in your life right now:
1. You are not crazy. How you are feeling right now is valid and a very real experience.
2. Avoiding facing these things that come up will only prolong the inevitable and make things more painful and challenging in your life.
3. You will find that you won't be interested in the things that you used to be interested in which is great as we may change our diets and drop some habits.. but we also lose friends during this period. Friends that we previously aligned with on the same vibration as before, we no longer vibe with and we will be feeling lonely. Do take advantage of online communities as there is wonderful support available here.. but do use discernment as there will be many self proclaimed gurus who insist on knowing it all. Trust your intuition, you will learn more and more how to do this.
4. Let yourself cry. Crying is a release and is in itself, a very healing action. Some of those feelings coming through, you are allowing yourself to feel for the first time ever. Let them exist and take up space. Most of them is just the energy passing through you and being released and not only your own, but ancestral trauma that is stored in your very DNA from your parents and their parents before them. There is great alchemy in shedding our tears so please do allow yourself to cry as often as you need to.
5. Have grace for yourself. This is important. You are embarking on brand new territory and it feels scary and confusing to you. We will be filled with doubt and uncertainty as we begin to learn how to trust ourselves and listen to our Self for the first time ever. You will quickly see how our egos still step in with the Inner Critic that will begin a barrage of negative messaging filled with judgment and disapproval. It's okay.. it is only a mechanism in place because it thinks it is keeping us safe as we seem to suddenly be veering off course in this new direction that has absolutely no map. Internal conflict will be at an all time high. Which is why having Grace and Compassion for yourself during this time while you learn how to navigate these waters, is of utmost importance.
6. Do seek out healing, therapy and all other modalities as much as you can. These exist because they work. And offer tremendous support to us during our healing. I said healing work is a solo job, but having a healer (to whatever capacity) is so helpful. We can often get stuck in an echo chamber when on our own, causing us to do circles and not moving out of a cycle or pattern that we want to move out of. Or maybe we aren't able to see or recognize something on our own. Therapy, energy healing and all other modalities will be tools for you to use that will greatly assist you along your path. It's not a one size fits all so, find what works for you.
7. There is no timeline for when things will be completed. You will find that there will be many layers to uncover and you might find yourself facing the same theme over and over again, but pay attention because although the theme might be the same, the issue that you're addressing or what is being released, will often be different and will be a deeper belief or wounding that you have now uncovered and you are faced with. The sooner we accept that healing is not linear and that there is no time for it to be completed, the easier it will be for us.
8. Learning how to surrender will be your biggest and greatest challenge. Knowing that we really do not have control of any of the things outside of us and relinquishing that control and leaning into the discomfort and the surrender, will be our most powerful lesson that we will hope to master.
So, I hope that this was helpful to some of you and that it allowed you to feel seen and begin to have some clarity. As you already know, I am an Intuitive Healer and offer services for those seeking guidance on their journey. I am a Certified Reiki Master Practitioner and offer energy healing and chakra balancing sessions, as well as a Spiritual Director and offer spiritual guidance in the form of counselling, guided meditation, spiritual teaching and much more. I am also a Certified Hypnotherapist and help people to go deep within their unconscious mind to tackle those hard to reach limited beliefs that keep us locked into habits and patterns that we want to change. I am currently available to see new clients in person or via online sessions. You can absolutely message me to book a free consultation to discuss a session if this is something that interests you.
Whether you book with me or someone else doesn't matter. What matters is that you will now begin to prioritize your healing and soul growth. You have been waiting for this moment to arrive for such a long time and now it is here. Know that there is support available out there. You are worthy of spending that energy on yourself. You are worthy of having the life that you desire. You are worthy of feeling good and feeling loved. And remember that ultimately, our spiritual awakening is a journey that leads us back to ourselves and envelopes us in pure divine unconditional love.
Much love, Giuseppina
